I'm an NYC stand-up, among other things. You can see me on any of the shows listed, or lurking around MacDougal St.
Call me by my real name
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 8, 2023
The twitter queen of brooklyn
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 8, 2023
Remembering everything everyones ever said like its a symphony
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 18, 2023
the only things people really only seek in others: competence and hygeine
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) August 24, 2023
dont infect me with bad taste, stop ruining my genre, and quit fucking up MY MILE TIME
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 22, 2023
Me to the alcoholics on the bus: " no judgement here, boss, im well versed in a life of compromise myself!!"
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 14, 2023
emotionally speaking, it was a very productive funeral
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 22, 2023
All things patient and kind are my business
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 28, 2023
The earth has disappeared beneath my feet, it fled from all my ecstasy
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 21, 2023
"i don't care about your super, your burrito, or where you have to be tomorrow morning" ....and I liked that!!
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 20, 2023
Gimme a sec here, i gotta look up multiples of 17 to be ready for this
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 19, 2023
Even the laws of the united states are but a minor inconvenience
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 19, 2023
Receive your fate like porridge-- hope for nothing
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 1, 2023
Me to myself sometimes "shhh russia isnt real, its a fantasy you use to torture yourself. Sh shhhh it isnt real..."
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 18, 2023
*me putting something in my pocket* "dont worry boss, this is merely the transportation method for this valuable thing of yours, not its destination!"
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 17, 2023
I want to enjoy everything and need nothing
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 17, 2023
I keep getting my arm chopped off, i wish itd stop growing back
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 16, 2023
You have everything you need to make your life a nightmare.... stop following the recipe!
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 15, 2023
I will not let sadness posses you, i will borrow all the gold i need to buy you out
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 15, 2023
Go easy on me please, i am new to the infinite
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 15, 2023
The lives of others lay their path through you
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 1, 2023
be a relief to any seeker on any path
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 15, 2023
Be exactly what they needed
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 1, 2023
The world is lucky youre not mean, we'd stand no chance against a vessel like yours!
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 1, 2023
Be a lamp, a lifeboat, be a ladder
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 1, 2023
Be a russian, be a good jew, be a financier, a loan shark, if theres one thing ive noticed: no one will mind
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 1, 2023
Be ancient, be graceful, be a mammal afterall
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 1, 2023
Be simple like children, be wise like snakes
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 1, 2023
But let your thoughts fall from your grace like leaves, they weren't yours to begin with
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 1, 2023
what a shame it is, to not put a heart like yours to good use
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 15, 2023
FEEL FREE TO ZOOM IN, SWEETHEART, IM LIKE A FRACTAL-- IMMACULATE ON EVERY SCALE
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 15, 2023
My working setup hehehehe pic.twitter.com/ncbdEz6pmy
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 15, 2023
I would never lie to you, i would never betray you by letting you think you're just fine as you are. IF YOU HAVE A SUSPICION YOU'RE A HALFLING, LISTEN TO IT.
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 15, 2023
i do believe in fate, but i would never insult my own destiny by believing "maybe im not living the way i can because its for me to be a mediocre talent"; i would never pacify myself by saying "i'm doing my best" MY BEST IS THE BEST OF THE GODS, IF I WERE DOING MY BEST YOU'D KNOW
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 15, 2023
Sometimes i find old to do lists of mine and its a cross of embarassing and endearing... "look at her.. she wanted raisins, what a simple soul"
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) June 10, 2023
i dont want a half love, a half life, or half of anything
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 15, 2023
Hope is when you lead your inner self into a house that doesnt yet exist; do not betray yourself with fantasy
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 14, 2023
Dont lead yourself into imaginary rooms and pray they materialize
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 15, 2023
Where does life end and i begin
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) May 12, 2023
Having finished the pb&j, i quickly conceded that it wasnt the answer
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 14, 2023
ITS RAINING INTO MY SANDWICH
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 14, 2023
My dick burning, been jacking off with gasoline
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) August 25, 2023
The body reaches for things the mind knows isnt there
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 13, 2023
The mind reaches, too, but for things the soul knows doesnt exist.
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 14, 2023
The soul doesnt reach at all, and thats its greatest feature
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 14, 2023
It is a difficult and unnatural decision to clear your mind
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 13, 2023
May 1000 livers know your kindness, let 2000 kidneys know your touch
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 8, 2023
cant respond, working on my meteoric rise to the top
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 7, 2023
was "i'm in the middle of a dying grandpa" not the right way to say it?
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 7, 2023
Of all thoughts better left for dead, is there anything worse than trying to understand
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 4, 2023
Why does my brain reach, reach, and keep reaching for other brains, like an ivy, why? I keep telling myself no one has anything for me, i keep telling myself "no"
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 4, 2023
Consider the "supreme court on porn" meets "climb everest" attitude to life. Know it when you see it and do it because it's there.
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 3, 2023
Sometimes i feel like im falling through a million years of outer space
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 1, 2023
On september mountain
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 30, 2023
Remember back then in the civic?
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 21, 2023
Even a ficus is a sign of hope
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 27, 2023
Live on, lil blue toyota
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 27, 2023
I keep trying to trace the thought back to the origin of trouble. But the trouble came before the thought
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 25, 2023
Commit crimes you can be proud of ♥️
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 24, 2023
Stay among us, the living
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 23, 2023
any of u infidels know bout the knowledge????
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 21, 2023
They didnt know that I HAD THE KNOWLEDGE
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 21, 2023
you ever dream about having relations with a mighty sequoia?
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 20, 2023
Lemme get a bagol wit lemin
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 20, 2023
Chain me to the main event
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 19, 2023
(1/4) If all the world and all of time could be captured in an image or a symbol, of course I'd tattoo that on me
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 19, 2023
(2/4) but any attempt to grab everything only continues to divide
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 19, 2023
3/4 so why would i divide the universe by drawing a line on my skin
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 19, 2023
He was at home in the language of the sandwich
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 10, 2023
pareto's distribution, but for life. 80% of life is contained in 20% of the living.
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 19, 2023
Hit er with a speech, chicks love a speech!
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 18, 2023
My brain smooth and hollow
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 16, 2023
But the world of ruin lays its path through me
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 16, 2023
Look at you, you're one sunny day away
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 10, 2023
Youre like the first sentence of a book
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 10, 2023
Guy got a face like a broken staircase
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 10, 2023
Im in pure tchadensis mode
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 16, 2023
2. Dont speak unless necessary, youll embarass yourself
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) August 27, 2023
Ive been to every recess of my mind, ive seen nothing justifying the everpresent hope i feel
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 15, 2023
I keep tryna talk to my mom about saber tooth tigers and shes pretending shes not interested, but i know her, I'll crack the old bird eventually
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 14, 2023
Round of success for the boys, on me
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 5, 2023
Shout out to the good times crew
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) August 27, 2023
One time i was in manhattan when the year ended and another one went by
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 8, 2023
I love like a child and think like a whore
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 12, 2023
Wakeup to the sound of my spine hitting the ground
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 6, 2023
The only moral act is getting your mile time down
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 3, 2023
Brooklyn yesterday pic.twitter.com/YQzy3ecOnp
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 13, 2023
if you loved me youd hunt me like caribou
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 13, 2023
where is my little sister and who is this slut colossus?
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 13, 2023
of course, me and bender and the sea of endless septembers, of course it's all fine.
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 13, 2023
The post crime wardrobe change
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) August 24, 2023
Go kiss the earth that you've defiled
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 11, 2023
The most beautiful things come out your mouth
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 8, 2023
Japan doesnt do street names because what is a street? A street is an empty space between houses, you cant name something that isnt anything
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 11, 2023
Streets are the silence between the sounds of buildings
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 11, 2023
Bow your head to meet the page where it rises, THATS WHERE YOU'LL FIND ME, btw the page and your exhale
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 8, 2023
All i see is a mound of shoulders
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) August 31, 2023
Ways i like to be: POCKETS FULL OF CASH AND A CLEAR HEAD HOW ABOUT YOU?
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) August 28, 2023
Theres two guys that work behind the deli counter at this grocery store i go to when im at work
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 12, 2023
One of them is everything you need-- clean, always in a good mood, happy to help, and competent
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 12, 2023
The other guy is angry at the world AND TAKES IT OUT ON MY SANDWICH WHICH I CANNOT FORGIVE
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 12, 2023
I still go, i still order the sandwich from him because what am i gonna do? Remain sandwichless? IM NOT AN INFIDEL TO REMAIN SANDWICHLESS
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) September 12, 2023
Dont these people know im alive and at their disposal
— anya🗽 jones 🏹 (@jonesofarc23) October 1, 2023